KIM KADARSHIAN AND ESU
Kim
Kadarshian got to Eko hotel feeling very tired. She had spent the whole day in
a flight from California and she deservedly felt very tired. She got the number
to her room from the counter and soon, she was iher room. It was a big spacious
room with air condition and everything. She was supposed to perform with one of
the Nigerian musicians the day after tomorrow and this made her to feel
excited. She slept off for an hour before she decided to go and get something
to eat. Slowly she climbed down the stairs until she got to the dinning room
and she poured over her meal of Salad.
As
she looked around the room, what struck him was the young black man that was
sitting directly opposite her. He was strickinly handsome, the kind of handsomeness
that one could not deny. As she looked at him, she wished he could come and
talk to her and her prayers were answered when at last, he came to her. It was
a friendly conversation and the two of them exchanged names and phone numbers.
The man’s name was John Adeleke Esulaja. She could only pronounce the first
name anyway as the other names were African and too difficult for her to
pronounce.
She
was even happy that he was in the next room opposite to her. The man was so
handsome, funny and charismatic, that very night, she fell for him. In fact,
she ended up in his room and they made love all night. She thoroughly enjoyed
the way he held her and made passionate love to her. He made her feel like a
woman and she loved being with him every minute. When they were tired, she lay
in his arms and they talked till the following morning. “So how is America and
everything”, he asked as he starred long and lovingly at her. “Well, America is
nice, you know I am a model, nudist and video vixen”, she said while smilling
at him. “Well, I am making love to one of the most famous and beautiful women
in the world”, he said with a smile across his face. “Well, you are also the
most handsome and charming man I have ever met”, she replied while kissing him.
The
very next day, she did not go out of the hotel but rather, she spent most of
the time with this young man she had known barely less than 24hrs ago. The
musician she was supposed to perform with waited for her but she did not show
up and when they called her, she explained to them she was tired and would not
show up until evening time. They spent all the day in the room watching
television and then when it was around 12 noon, it occurred to her to ask him
his occupation. “Well….. I am a philosopher”, he said with a thoughtfull look
in his eyes. “What do you mean by that, are you kind of like plato”, she asked
with a surprising look in his eyes. “Well, you can call me an African
philosopher, I mean, I philosophize for the African race and the human race as
a whole”, he answered. “Well, how do you make a living”, she asked. “Don’t
mind, I will tell you later”, he answered as she kissed him on the cheek.
The
two lovers held each other tight and then made love for like 30 minutes before
John turned to her and said “Why do you like nudism so much”. “Well, I don’t
really know but nudism is my way of life”, she replied. They talked all day and
then the next day, she went about her music before she flew back to California
in America.
On
way back to America on the plane, she felt a little guilty. She was married to
Kayne West and she had then committed adultery but she relegated that to the
background. Over the next few months, she spoke to John Adeleke Eshulaja on the
phone and social media and she felt closer and closer to him. There was
something irresistible about the young man’s charm, intelligence and
handsomeness. In addition, he was a fantastic mathematian who could work any
equation. They felt so close that she travelled a few months later to Nigeria
to meet this man. John was a young man who worked in the Lagos civil service
and lived alone in a small 3 room apartment in Ikeja, Lagos. The day she got to
his house, she got to know him more.
His
house was decorated with all forms of artworks. John was rather a “wicked”
lover, he took her straight to his bed and made love to her. After sometime, he
now said “now, I will reveal more of myself to you”. “Well go ahead”, she said
exceidely as she sat on the bed. “Well, I am the philosopher of
contradictions”, “what do you mean by that?”, Kim Kadarshian asked. At this
point, he went to his wardrobe and brought out a red and black cap. In fact,
the cap was red on one side and black on the other side. “This cap is to show
that life is full of contradictions. You do not have to see things from only
one point of view”. He said when pointing at her. “Is that all?”, she asked.
“Well, there is more, I am also the philosopher of sex and progress. Sex and
romance is a vision of progress. It shows the way forward”. “I can see that as you
are good in bed”, Kim Kadarshian said with a smile across her face. “I am
serious he said”. This time around, he went to his wardrobe and brought out a
carving. It was a statue of a man with a big penis and he also had a cap with a
big penis. He brandished it, showed it to her and said “I believe that the
universe is sexual and man is master of his destiny. I also believe that you
can change anything, even social conventions. In fact, you can make the sun to
move round the earth and this phallus or penis is a symbol of progress”. “Well,
that is rather interesting. John went on to regale her with different stories
and philosophies.
His
philosophy seemed modern and consistent to her. But there was one thing he told
her during her 2 weeks with him that stunned her and she did not even believe
at all in his own words he said “I have been alive for 6000 years and I was
originally in ancient Egypt where I was a king. I came down to Yoruba land and
taught the people there Ifa and so they keep worshiping me and my philosophy. I
am very old”, he told her. She did not believe him as she wondered how someone
could live that long. She tuahg he was only joking and fooling around.
Their romance took full flight and to the shock of
the American media, she divorced her hushand and married this fascinating young
man in a grand ceremony. She became pregnant for him and DNA tests confirmed he
was the owner of the pregnancy.
The
wedding was the talk of the town as different stars from Nollywood attended and
they settled down in California, somewhere in the U.S.A. After their wedding,
John told her that as from now on, she should refer to him as esu and not John.
She did not understand why but then, she played along with him. When they
settled down in their house, he now saw another side of him. One Saturday
morning, they were watching television together when he said “do you believe a
man can defeat gravity”, “what do you mean by that?”, she asked. “As in
Levitate”, he asked. “That will be magic”, she answered, “Well, let me show
you”, he said. Without waiting for her to say anything, he got up from the bed,
said some incantations in Yoruba (an African language) and then, he started
floating in the air like a balloon. She became frightened and then stunned when
she saw this but then, she did not even know what to say.
Esu
(for this was the name he called her now) also taught her all sorts of magical
and science fiction things. Things like floating in the air, making things
disappear. The most outstanding trick of his was when he showed her he could
appear and disappear at room. They were in their bedroom that day when he did
it and she was stunned beyond belief. He actually (as usual) chanted some
incantations in the bedroom, disappeared and then appeared in the living room.
He called out to her he was in the living room and when she saw him there, she
did not even know what to think. He looked long and intensely at her and then
said “Do you now believe that I am a spirit”. “I don’t really know, I don’t
think so but then, I have seen few people do this before, are you a magician?”,
she asked. At this point, he repeated himself to her and tried to make her
believe he was 6000 years old but then she had doubts about it.
In
time, the Baby in her womb developed and finally, she gave birth to her child.
Esu on his part insisted that they should name the child Pyramid henry Esulaja.
Kim Kadarshian on her part agreed. One thing about Esu is that he dazzled her
with his knowledge of mathematics. In fact, he claimed the Ifa Oracle of which
he was the originator is mathematical and soon, he even started dazzling the
world of the academia with his knowledge of mathematics. He even invented a new
form of cryptography or computer security and revolutionized the field of
number theory on which cryptography was based. One other curious thing about
him was that he was also a sculptor with many artworks in his house. In fact,
he made carvings of the penis and nude women and other fantastic carvings. Kim
Kadarshian on her part being a sex symbol used his carving of the penis to
masturbate whenever he was not around. One day while he masturbated with his
wooden carving of the penis, inserting it into her vagina, real sperm started
coming out of it and the carving said “Now you know Esu Elegba the god of
desire, passion, progress and contradiction, Yes!!! The god at the cross
roads”. She became very afraid that evening as she wondered how an inanimate
object could talk. She threw it away in fear and looked at her 6 months old
baby across the room.
As
she was still schocked, Esu her husband entered the room and said “yes, my
dear, you are now married to the gods of Yoruba land, Egypt and the black race.
Now, you will be initiated to the land of the gods”. At this point, he floated
in the air and a long penis grew out of his head. The room was full of smoke
and she started chooking. She was stunned and did not know what to say. Esu put
his hands in the air and suddenly, a group of small children appeared all over
the room from no where. “We are the children of Esu they said, sent from Ifa in
the spirit world”. The room became enchanted, filled with all sorts of little
children and Esu in mid air. As she looked on, the children disappeared and
then, Esu spoke and said. “Now, we have
fulfilled our mission, you have given birth to the promised child. YES!!!!, the
child that will unite humanity and bring about world peace. Restoring the
ancient wisdom of Ifa, aceint Egypt and the secret of the Pyramids!!!”. “Who
are you”, Kim asked but before she could finish talking, Esu disappeared into
thin air and the smoke slowly receeded in the room.
She
was still trying to recover from her shock when the baby in the cradle suddenly
floated in the air, pointed to her and said “I am half spirit and half man, as
from now on I bring about ancient wisdom to the human race. Ifa Olokun
Asorodayo. I am unity, contradiction and I stand at the cross roads!!!!!!!”.
“Where is your father?”, he just disappeared, she asked out of the confusion in
her mind. “Well, check him out in the forest, anytime you go to the forest call
his name and he will appear. But from now on, I am Pyramid Esulaja and I know
and understand all mysteries. From mathematics to chemistry and even the
mysteries of the spirit world. I know it all!!!!!!”. Kim was scared as she
finally realized she had married a spirit and given birth to a half man and
half child but then, she got used to it.
As
from that time on, she went to the forest and chanted incantations just as her
spirit child told her and Esu appeared to her and she worshiped it. Also,
sometimes at night, Esu manifested himself to her as a young man with a long
penis and made love to her and she enjoyed it. She became the priestess and
wife of Esu and at the same time the propagator of the western philosophy of
nudism and a sex symbol, model and video vixen. The child grew and was a
strange child and like his father was an artist, carver, mathematician and
magician. She in fact, propagated the philosophy of Esu for it was similar to
hers. It had elements of nudism, progress and science and she tried to tell the
Western media about it.
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